I’M SORRY IF I DON’T REMEMBER

Back to HOME  –  ABOUT KANYA

Losing my memory to disease,
sometimes a short one,
sometimes temporarily,
but fortunately not permanent,
This is how I live now….
.
Sometimes I remember you
Sometimes I don’t
This is how I live now…
.
When I’m with you,
and you talk to me
I sometimes suddenly fall silent
Because my brain skips a beat
and I forgot how to speak
in your language
This is how I live now…
.
I wrote many poems,
short stories, novels, and journals
I drew many pictures and paintings
but not to be a famous poet, writer, or painter
I just want to make sure
the good memories won’t fade away
and the precious moments will stay forever
at least on my books, computer, blog, and website
So, I can recall the memories
by reading or looking at them
This is how I live now…
.
Losing my memory to disease,
is like a clown without make-up or costume,
I sometimes feel totally incomplete
But this is how I live now…
.
Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand
I will point it to my brain and spinal cord, and say « Reparo! »*)
to repair every damage of the myelin sheath.
But the reality always slaps my head,
wakes me up from my dreams,
and shouts, « just accept everything as it is,
and make a peace with the disease! »
This is how I live now…
.
So I learned to make a peace with my own life,
enjoying every present moment and every second…
I learned to be grateful for everything I have,
more or less…
I learned to stay happy, even in the worst situation,
and learned to share the happiness to others
unconditionally…
And I learned how to get serenity and inner peace
for the rest of my life…
This is how I live now…
.
I don’t know about future
Maybe I’m cured
Maybe I’m not
Maybe I will remember you
Maybe I won’t
All I can say is,
« I’m sorry if my brain sometimes cannot remember a thing,
but I guarantee that my heart will always remember
having the genuine love and sincerity
for people around me
I also guarantee that I will always remember
to be a helping hand and listening ears
for every person who needs me
Because this is how I live now… »
.
KANYA PUSPOKUSUMO
Founder and President of Multipel Sklerosis Indonesia Foundation
April 4, 2016
.
*) The Mending Charm in « Harry Potter »; also known as the Repairing Charm that can be used to a broken object.
.
Dedicated to Persons with Multiple Sclerosis in the world who have the cognitive disturbances, such as short, temporary, or permanent memory loss.
Together we are ‪#‎strongerthanMS‬
.
www.multiplesclerosis.or.id
https://doeniadevi.wordpress.com
.
‪#‎Independence‬ ‪#‎MS_Must_Stop‬
‪#‎MultipleSclerosisAwareness‬
‪#‎MSGlobalAwareness‬
‪#‎WorldMSDay_May_2016‬

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